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5 Ways to Reduce Social Anxiety During Conversations

     Everybody suffers from social anxiety somewhere down the line.  The reasons vary; not knowing a person, what to say, how to behave, etc.  It is natural to feel this way when situations like these arise, especially when you are more of an introvert.  However, there are some people out there who struggle to speak to anyone out of fear of social interaction.  This is usually due to the fact they feel like they never know what to say, how to act around people or understand social queues.  Thankfully, there are ways to handle social anxiety and have meaningful conversations with little worry.  Here are five ways to reduce social anxiety.
1. Ask People Questions
     People worry about what they are going to say throughout a conversation.  Thankfully, half the battle is asking questions and answering the questions the other person has for you.  It does not matter what questions are asked as long as they are appropriate.  The outcome is usually the same, it begins a conversation.  This is why the asking of, “How’s the weather?” is a popular conversation topic.  The question is simple and easy to answer.  It also gets the ball rolling which is usually what people struggle with the most.  Afterward, their answers may become a Segway into a different topic.  This not only continues the conversation but can provide a sense of control.  If the topic does not Segway into a new one, ask more questions.  Eventually, something will stick.  Lo and behold, you will be having a full-fledged conversation with little to worry about in terms of content to discuss.
2. Attentive Listening
     One of the most common mistakes people make when having a conversation is forgetting to listen.  When people get nervous, they will often tune out the other person and contemplate on what they are going to say next.  Sometimes, this can mean speaking about something having nothing to do with what the other person said.  This not only makes the other person feel like they are not being heard, but it can cause unnecessary tension.  Attentively listening will help in moving the conversation along.  Instead of moving from thought to thought thinking about what to say next, you will be able to formulate a response based on what the other person is saying.  It is a win-win situation because the other person feels heard while you feel less anxious about what to speak about.
3. Let People Talk about Themselves
     One of the simplest ways to come off as friendly and easy to talk to is allowing people to talk about themselves.  It is also a great way to lower stress levels when having a conversation.  Similar to listening, allowing the person to talk about themselves will give you the satisfaction of having to say very little.  At the same time, the other person will feel as if you have been contributing immensely.  Many people want to talk about their problems, achievements, and opinions but seldom have an opportunity to do so.  This is where you come in, the person interested in everything they have to say.  Many people use this strategy to get through conversations with people they barely know or feel intimidated by.  It is also a strategy used by those who are the strong silent types.  It allows them to have conversations without revealing much about themselves.  Afterward, the person you spoke to will most likely have enjoyed the chat.  Thus, you have successfully gotten through a conversation without saying much while making the other person happy to have spoken with you.
4. Remember People are Similar to You
     Most of the time, the person you are speaking to is just as anxious or underprepared to speak.  Have you ever been in a room with people you know little about and have to strike up a conversation with one of them?  There is a high chance of awkward silence, random questions about work or school, or generic conversation topics people use as a failsafe.  Most of the population is uncomfortable talking to people they seldom know, especially when they are not in the mood to socialize.  It can be a great reliever of stress to remind yourself of this.  While you are doing your best to keep the conversation going, chances are the other person is too.  If most of the world is just trying to get through the conversation, then it makes speaking a little easier.  You do not have to try as hard to please the other person.
5. Catch Yourself Overthinking
     This method is easier said than done and takes practice to master.  Everybody overthinks now and then.  It can be stressful having a conversation while constantly overthinking the situation.  It can lead to mind runoff where we do not think before we speak.  We also feel insecure about what is said and how we come off towards others.  This can lead to awkward situations, such as one person apologizing for being too awkward and the other person being completely confused as to what they are talking about.  The best way to counter this is by catching yourself overthinking.  The next time you are in a conversation and feel nervous, try to prevent yourself from worry.  Take deep breaths, analyze the situation, and tell yourself that you do not have to speak immediately after the other person does.  Take as much time as you need to think of a response.  When you are ready, then you can respond.  This will take time to master, but once you have done so, it will be the most useful weapon in your arsenal to counter social anxiety.

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