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Life Advice Blog #6 - Understanding

     One of the most important skills in life is the ability to put oneself in another person’s shoes. There are too many instances of people judging others without asking “why?”  It is an important question, as the “why” can prevent people from jumping to conclusions.  There is nothing worse than weakening a relationship with somebody, because you said or did something without entertaining their side of the story. Personally, I always ask “why?” when somebody close to me acts or thinks a certain way.  I am not the only person on this planet, and neither are you.  We all have our own personal thoughts and opinions.  These differences make us unique, but they also make us vulnerable, as others may disagree and fail to see one’s reasons for being the way they are.  This is where understanding comes into play.  If a person masters the skill of understanding, they will be less likely to jump to conclusions, weaken their relationships, and be looked at as more thoughtful than the average person.


     Understanding can be looked at as a state of mind.  There are those who assume and react and there are others who contain themselves and analyze the situation.  Anyone can react, but it takes a trained individual to analyze. The good news is that anybody can train their brain to be more understanding.  One of the best ways to better understand others is to ask questions. Rather than react using your own mind, which is full of opinions and idealism, ask why the other person is acting or thinking the way they are.  The answers you receive will open your eyes to new ways of thinking and allow you to better understand the opposite side of your idealistic spectrum.


     Going off of what was said previously, it is important to let the person explain themselves without interruption.  Asking questions is easy, but we have all asked, waited for an answer, and then chimed in when we have something to say.  Again, this can lead to assumptions.  When the person is talking, the comments you make may be credited to your own way of thinking.  In doing so, you are not trying to understand the person.  Rather, you are trying to explain how what has transpired makes sense to you.  Not only can this lead to incorrect conclusions about the person trying to explain themselves, but that person also feels overlooked due to the constant interruptions.  Allowing a person to explain themselves without interruption makes them feel heard, but it also helps you in understanding their thoughts and actions.  Again, this allows you to experience a different way of thinking.  Nobody has to agree with everything that another person does, but it is better to hear them out and understand the “why” rather than assume and overlook their reasoning.


     Lastly, the best way to master the art of understanding is to clear assumptions from the mind.  When someone is explaining themselves, or if one has a thought about another person, they should try their best to ignore assumptions.  Assumptions cloud the mind and can prevent people from fully understanding the other person’s side of the story.  There have been many instances where I have been listening to someone and my thoughts end up clouding my mind.  I begin focusing on the story in my head rather than the person explaining the reality of the situation.  This does not help in understanding the person’s side of the story.  Rather, it looks like you are not listening nor are you trying to understand.  As soon as you begin to assume, catch yourself and clear it from the mind.  Not everything that we conjure up in our heads is fact.  The best way to know the truth is by asking, observing, or allowing people to explain themselves.  Even if there are disagreements afterwards, at least you understand their side of the story.


     If you apply these pieces of advice in your everyday life, there will be a drastic change in the way you think.  When you begin to control your mind, you open up a new world. The way you think changes, and you learn more about yourself and other people.  Understand that everybody is different and that not everyone thinks the same way.  When you begin to understand, you gain knowledge grow as a person.  Learn to understand, become knowledgeable, grow, and prosper.

Song of the Blog
Today’s Song is “Crash Into Me,” by Dave Matthews Band!  Listen while reading for a better experience!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU2E1lX1geY

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