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Life Advice Blog #24 - Dealing With Toxic People

     Toxicity is the killer of positivity and dreams.  Toxic people are naturally negative and will put others down whenever possible.  They are so narcissistic and/or unhappy that they bring people down in hopes of making themselves feel superior.  Control is their primary goal, and they maintain control by keeping others from reaching their full potential.  These toxic people can be found at work, school, and even among your family and friends.  Unless a person knows how to deal with the toxicity, they can quickly lose self-esteem, confidence, the motivation to grow as a person, and even become toxic themselves.  Thankfully, there are a multitude of ways to handle the toxic people who plague this world, and once put into practice, can make you unbreakable.  Stay true to yourself, remain positive, and outright avoid anyone who tries to bring you down.


     Toxic people will try to manipulate others into believing what they say, but that mindset does not always coincide with what you believe.  Being master manipulators, toxic people will often look for ways to get what they want.  For example, toxic people will often gossip about another person they dislike in hopes the person they are speaking to agrees.  Keep in mind that they are not speaking to you because they like you.  The toxic person is speaking to you, because they want to control you by altering your image of the person they dislike.  In the moment, it can be difficult to disagree with a toxic person while they are bringing up the negative aspects of another.  However, by agreeing with the person, you are not only giving them more control over your thoughts, but you have given them ammo to use against you.  The toxic person can now tell other people what you have agreed to, which can ruin your reputation and cause unnecessary chaos.  However, this is what the toxic person lives for, as long as they remain genuine in the eyes of the many.



     The best way to evade this problem is to avoid agreeing with, or contributing to, any negativity a toxic person discusses.  You can disagree with what the person is saying, but if you are someone who does not like confrontation, remaining silent and allowing the toxic person to share their thoughts is just as effective.  By saying nothing, there is no indication you are agreeing with what they are saying while also allowing them to speak their mind.  This allows you to remain neutral in the moment, prevents the toxic person from obtaining ammo to use against you, and lets the person feel as if they have been heard.  They will remain personally neutral with you as well.  By flat-out disagreeing, they may paint a target on your back in hopes of gaining dirt on you, but allowing them to speak while remaining indifferent gives them no reason to dislike you.


     Since toxic people are primarily negative when encountered, the best way to negate their toxicity is to focus on the positive.  Negativity can spread quickly, and toxic people are masters at lowering morale.  They make themselves feel good by being negative and putting people down.  This is why, when someone says they are trying to better themselves, they are usually unsupportive.  They will often say the person cannot accomplish their goal, should give up, or put them down when they are making progress.  However, this negativity can be overlooked in different ways.  First, it is best to not speak of your goals with a toxic person to maintain positive energy.  This allows the avoidance of any negativity they may have towards the idea, allowing you to focus on accomplishing the goal without second guessing yourself.  Second, if a toxic person is being openly negative, whether it be towards a goal or in general, remind yourself of life’s positives.  There is much to live for, and negative thoughts and opinions should not hinder you from having a good day or working towards success.  Remind yourself of your goals and focus on those instead of listening to their toxic propaganda.


     All in all, the best way to deal with toxic people is to avoid them or cut ties with them indefinitely.  Thankfully, we have free will, which allows us to pick and choose who we want to associate with.  The only reason why we would have negative people in our lives is if we choose to keep them around.  Sometimes this is justifiable if the person is someone we care about and hope to change.  However, if the toxic person is someone who would not be missed, cut ties with them immediately.  There is no reason to keep them around if they are not supporting or contributing to your growth as a person.  You deserve better than to be mentally exhausted due to the negativity of others.  If your toxic person is someone you cannot get away from, such as a co-worker or a family member, it is best to avoid them whenever possible.  If they become negative while you are around, leave the area and do not let their negativity get to you.  Remain positive and understand their words are those of an unhappy, narcissistic person who pities themselves for not doing more with their life.  Remember, we are all capable of doing great things, but the only way we can succeed is if we have self-confidence and surround ourselves with those who love and support us.

Song of the Blog
Today’s song of the blog is “Dream On,” by Aerosmith. Listen while reading for a better experience!

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