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Life Advice Blog #22 - Small Talk

     Many people cannot stand the idea of small talk.  The reason being is they believe small talk is boring and meaningless.  To these people, small talk begins with people feeling uncomfortable in a situation, so they start asking the generic questions everyone asks.  The other person then answers with vague, uninterested answers.  Once complete, the parties disperse, ultimately forgetting everything said.  They were so focused on getting through the conversation that they forgot to listen. These instances can and will happen, but small talk is not to blame.  It is the person who decides whether small talk is a negative or a positive, and there many positive reasons to partake in small talk.  Small talk is the best way to begin learning about another person.  Many people would rather go past small talk and have a deep, meaningful conversation. The problem is many people do not want to open up to another person without ‘getting their feet wet’ so to speak. People need to get a read on you before they open up to you and vice versa.  The best way to achieve those deep conversations is to embrace small talk and understand the opportunities resulting.


     The more a person converses through small talk, the more genuine the conversations become.  The problem people have is they try to avoid small talk, so when they are forced to do so they look at it with negative connotations.  This means that they will become disinterested rather quickly, which leads to nothing but bitterness and annoyance.  There is also less of a chance that relationships will form or a deeper conversation will ensue, because the person is focusing all of their energy towards small talk.  Rather than avoiding small talk, people need to embrace it.  You will see a difference in the way you approach small talk when you become openly interested in what the other person is saying.  The questions and answers no longer feel like a chore and the conversation seems more sincere.  This also makes it easier to segue into deeper conversations, because you are focusing on furthering the conversation rather than getting through it.


     Opportunity and new experiences are often the results of small talk.  Relationships do not always begin with deep and meaningful conversations.  Often times, people begin speaking to one another through small talk.  Slowly but surely, their relationships grow into something more meaningful, eventually leading to conversations both parties want to have.  There are examples of this scenario in everybody’s personal and professional lives.  Personally, people use small talk as a way to initiate conversations with a crush, someone they want to be friends with, or strangers to make a situation more comfortable. These types of conversations can lead to more meaningful relationships, better conversations, and increased comfort with the people you have these exchanges with.  Professionally, people use small talk to initiate conversations with those of importance, such as CEOs of companies or managers.  Many people do this with the intention of getting noticed and to create relationships.  This is because this small talk can lead to promotions, deals, and other opportunities. Either way, the outcome depends on the person, what they can offer, and if they like you.


     Small talk will forever be a part of human interaction, and as such should be embraced.  Remaining positive will ensure that conversations are more meaningful and longer lasting, inevitably leading to more meaningful discussions.  Relationships will be easier to create and opportunities will present themselves more frequently.  You will become more sociable and feel confident in speaking to other people.  Remember, not every conversation has to begin with a deep, dramatic discussion about the meaning of life.  Sometimes, all it takes to start a friendship is a simple “How are you?”


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Today’s song of the blog is “Hello,” by Lionel Richie. Listen while reading for a better experience!
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