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Stop Searching for Love - Here's Why

     A common trend among those who are single is the fear of being forever alone.  Societal pressures to be in a relationship, married and well-established by a certain age are at an all-time high.  People will often see their friends and family members go through this process and begin to worry.  What usually happens is they try to analyze why they are alone by nitpicking every 'imperfection' they have.  This is not only counterproductive but also damaging, both mentally and emotionally.  We lose confidence when we choose to tear ourselves down.  Self-love diminishes, and we are left saddened, disheartened, and fearful.  Rather than looking for solutions, we wallow in our own self-pity and desperately search for someone to fill in the void.  Fortunately, there is a solution, self-love.  Searching for love only gets you so far and provides few results when self-love is low.
     How can you expect love to come into fruition without knowing what you want?  When we feel rushed to commit, we often latch onto the first person who shows interest.  More often than not, this leads to abusive relationships or relationships with little meaning.  This can increase our self-loathing and lack of confidence.  We then restart the cycle; search, latch, lose, blaming ourselves for each failed attempt.  If we do not end the cycle, then we cannot expect anything to change.  The only way to end it is to stop searching and start thinking.  We stop latching when we know what we want in a relationship.  You do this by finding yourself, accepting yourself for who you are, and letting love find you, not the other way around.
     Personally, every time I searched for love, it ended in disappointment.  I searched because I was worried about being single.  I did not go out much and considered myself a loner.  Throughout this
period of bachelorhood, however, I learned more about myself, who I was, and what I expected out of my next relationship.  I accepted myself, pros and cons alike.  I told myself that I would not search for love and focus on me, believing it would find me when I was ready.  Six years after my last relationship, I found someone who meets every standard I set, completely by accident.
     Stop searching and start focusing on yourself.  You will find love when you least expect it.  Life and love both work in mysterious ways.  If you are confident in who you are and what you want, then the love you experience will be even more meaningful.  Be confident, picky, and most importantly, unattached to the thought of being with just anyone.  You are better than that.

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