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Life Advice Blog #2 - Intentions

     Today’s topic revolves around intention; what the word means, why it is important to understand, and how it applies to our everyday lives.  Intentions are the end result of a person’s decisions or behavior.  With every decision a person makes, there is likely a reason for doing so, a goal to achieve.  When we go to school, for example, we go with the intention of receiving good grades, moving up the educational ladder, and eventually graduating. We intend to graduate so we can find a good job, to make money, to be happy.  What is important to note is the end result of going to school, happiness.  In my opinion, almost every decision a person makes comes with the intention of personal satisfaction.


     The importance of intent stems from this idea of personal satisfaction.  There is no problem with people making decisions to further themselves or to bring a bit of happiness into their lives.  However, there are those who make decisions that include other people, and this is where personal gain comes into play.  The question that arises is: Is your personal gain your primary intent, or does the primary intent come from fulfilling the other person’s wants/needs and having your own happiness come second?

     Personal satisfaction should be the primary goal in some cases, but in certain situations, altruism should be the intention.  Love can be used as an example for both.  Love is something that most humans want, but love can sometimes come about through ill intent.  Some of the words we associate with love are; companionship, family, partner, trust, loyalty, and happiness, all of which are great things to have. Many people search with the intention of finding people who they connect with, making them happy.  What can be problematic is being too driven by the intent of personal satisfaction.  There are people out there who feel alone and want to find that special someone, and their desire is so great that they look for a connection with anyone who shows interest.  They also raise their expectations of this potential connection because of this want, and in this race to find love, family, trust, happiness, etc. instances of one night stands, short-lived relationships, and disappointment arise. They are not truly in love with the person they are seeing.  They are infatuated with the idea of being with someone, reaching their intent.  If there is no selfless love, then the love is false.  Loving someone is different than loving what the person represents in the selfish mind. The altruist intent of love is to love someone for who they are, and through your own feelings of joy and through the person’s affection, receive the byproduct of personal satisfaction.


     This example of love takes altruism and puts it ahead of one’s own wants and needs, but are there situations where altruist intent is set aside?  Simply put, yes.  Though you should be selfless in certain situations, you also need to think about yourself and your needs.  Not only that, but you have to think of the other people’s intentions as well.  Do they care about you, or do they intend to use you for their own personal gain?  In the same example of loving someone, the person you love may not love you at all.  This person could be rude, dishonest, or verbally/physically abusive towards you, yet you remain loyal to them.  You are selfless and love the person for their flaws, but though your intentions are good, you receive very little personal satisfaction.  In this situation, the best course of action would be to remove this person from your life with the intent of being a happier you. It may seem selfish, but again, sometimes selfish intentions are beneficial for mental health.

    The love scenario is one of many examples that explain my views, but this type of thinking can be applied to any situation you are in; your job, family life, the plans you have for your future, etc.  Is it better to have selfish or selfless intent? Truthfully, the only person who can answer that is you.  Apply that question to your own situation.  What would be the outcome in each scenario?  Does your happiness come first?  Use your judgement to find the answer.


Song of the Blog:
     Today’s Song is “Beautiful Love,” by Anita O’Day!

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